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Article shared by Sis Deirdre West from Whitefield
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OM SRI SAI RAM

Yesterday was the second day that I had been able to walk quite fast  and quite easily around the flat with a splendid tripod walking stick lent  by my extremely kind neighbours. I had a second visit in the morning from Jayashree, the lady who had picked me up when I fell. While she was there, it jumped into my head, "Why not go to Darshan tomorrow morning? Why  wait for a whole week before thinking of venturing out, as Dr. Sunderesh had said on Friday night?"

As tomorrow will be very crowded, because of Easwarama's Birthday, and I also wondered if I could sit so long for the discourse, it seemed a good plan to slip in a visit this morning. I also had to find out if I could sit on the floor AND get up. I found that with the help of the stick I  could do this. It felt as if I had all Swami's encouragement, and in the evening it occurred to me to ring Gita Umesh who is a dear friend and is a counsellor at the Super Hospital here and also a Seva Dal for the front blocks.

She said immediately that she would arrange to meet me with a wheel chair at the gate so that I need not walk so far to the front end of the hall.  The Rickshaw came at 6.00 am - I'd been up since 4.00 - and Gopal came and saw me down and into it. The Security at the gate immediately got a  chair for me to sit on until Gita came, which she did very soon and whisked  me along to the entrance where I alighted and walked to my place which was actually front row - someone took the stick and it would be brought to me at the end. How Swami took care of EVERYTHING! It felt so good to be there among all those dear people, such kindness and gentle warmth.

It wasn't very long before Swami came out (6.45) radiating love and joy and consolation at every step. He was, as always, very solicitous towards  the older ladies on the bench and then came along. I had determined to  expect nothing of Swami, just to have His wonderful Darshan. I had written a note of gratitude for the way He had cared for every detail during these three weeks and supplied all my needs, rescuing me again and again, when in urgent need, really showering me with so much love from all quarters, what else could one want?

Swami went slowly when He came near us and stood quite still for some time so that one had the most wonderful Darshan and I felt deeply satisfied,  for  Swami from any angle is the most beautiful and precious sight on this earth.   I knew that He knew about my grateful heart He didn't  need that bit of   paper. He progressed around the entire hall and back down towards us before turning to the front and then round slowly and out speaking to this one and that one, and taking letters. Now I stop to think of it, I suppose that His two attendants for the letters were there and the police, crouching Hanuman-like as they move with watchful eyes, but I simply wasn't aware of anyone but Swami. His magnetic love, rivets our attention on Him only.

At last He walked out into the sunshine, even more brilliant Himself,  and   slowly walked out of sight. I waited for some peaceful minutes, glad  not to  have to leap up and go, as had been my practice for so long, running  off to   the hospital. However, Gita came with the stick and I was soon on my feet and walking over to the bench where she brought the wheel chair. We  were   soon swiftly on our way out.

Near the boys' hostel Mr. Suri (former Convener of the Books and Publications Trust) also in a wheel chair - he broke  his   leg some weeks back and was operated in our hospital, but returned to Puttaparthi where I visited him at Mahashivarathri - laughed to each other  and waved, he called out, "What happened?" I promised to write. we picked up my shoes and at the gate a strong seva dal man took over and pushed me right up the the road-side where the Auto Rickshaw would collect me. I got out and waited until the traffic left room for him to drive over and was soon inside. The gate was closed, but we reached home by 7.45 am! Just amazing.  See, how Swami managed everything so smoothly. There is never any reason to fear, is there?

Now I shall stay home for some time. The Summer Course begins I believe on the 15th and I'll have to see if I can sit so long for the daily  discourse,  tempting as it is. I'd really like to go back walking normally and  being no trouble to anyone. We'll have to see if Swami has other plans of  course. I feel I have been really pampered and cannot complain of anything, every   experience is a lesson, and an opportunity to practise what we truly   believe.

To finish, I want to share something that I learned from Dr. Bhagavat,  formerly Director of the S.S.S.G.H. Puttaparthi on the subject of  interviews. After the  first time I had done service in the dressing  room  of   the Whitefield hospital 1994, I arrived back from China to Puttaparthi in Jan 95 and went to offer my services at the G.H. there. Bhagavati (as Swami called him endearingly) said he must ask Swami's permission. I said, "I don't know what He'll say, because He never speaks to me - you know I have never had an interview of the usual sort. Then he told me this... Swami  told him one day that if He talks to someone a lot (a lot of interviews) He probably wants to change something, but if He walks past you and says nothing, He loves you very much, but the best is if Swami says something  nice about you to someone else, behind your back." This was so comforting and encouraging, because I knew that Swami had already done that for me and the person (V.K.Narasimhan) had told me afterwards. Dr. Bhagavat then said that, although he sat every day on the verandah, Swami did not speak to him  for six months!!! After that I came to  know of three other occasions when Swami had spoken "behind my back" but prompted someone to tell me about it afterwards, always to my amazement. This should be very heartening for the many, many devotees who are never called.

Though another thing to remember is that sometimes, people are called after a very long time. Isaac Tigrett had to wait for 15 years, Dana Gillespie for 10 years, I've heard of others, Indians, being called after still longer and only this year Ted Henry said there was someone who had been Swami's devotee for 28 years and suddenly he was called in with them. We can never know the  plans of the Almighty, but best is to trust His uncertainty and have no hopes or expectations, then you can be really peaceful and get the most from His Darshan and allow Him to bless you as He wishes to. The Inner View  is  most important and when you are away from the Ashram, you can always be in the front row!

Love, peace and happiness to everyone,
 

Deirdre


Posted on 05 May 2003 17:13